How many times have you heard artists
thank God for their success and their blessings, but yet write lyrics & live
a lifestyle completely devoid of the higher moral principles that God calls us
to live by? Walt Mueller sums it up
well in the above quote from his book, “Understanding Today’s Youth
Culture.” Our kids are growing up
and becoming teenagers. It won’t be
long before they are full fledged adults with all the rights, privileges (and
responsibilities) there-to.
Teenagers are attempting to learn to discern truth from fiction in world
that is progressively blurring the two more and more. Mueller’s point regarding the clash of
incompatible words and actions is just the tip of the iceberg.
Actor/comedian Dana Carvey was quoted in
USA Today saying, “It’s easy to do raunchy humor, but you try leaning over and explaining a
masturbation joke to your young son,” of which, Carvey has two, ages 9 and
11. I think every parent wants their children
to grow up to be good, moral, upright people who respect others and a good
number of those, far more than actually admit it, want their kids to grow up to
love God too. But if the goal is to
shield our children from what we politely term ‘adult humor,’ how do we do it?
How are we, as parents and as adults who have influence in the lives of today’s
teenagers, supposed to guide them through this R-Rated truth-twisting
world?
Unless you’re raising your kids in a world
similar to that of our local Amish friends (more power to them) where the entire
community is committed to the same goal, I’m not sure it’s possible to shield
them. We live in an R-Rated
society. It is everywhere. It’s in the schools. It’s on the television. It’s in the movies. It’s on the radio on their busses. It’s in the CD players of their
cars. It’s on the magazine racks at
grocery store checkout counters. Five year old girls see Britney on TV at a football game and want to walk into
Kindergarten the next day wearing a bikini. Someone told me about this disturbing
conversation between a six year old girl and her mother. The young girl walked up to her mother
in the middle of the afternoon and said, “Mommy, I need to go on a diet.” Intrigued, her mother asked, “Now what
makes you say that dear?” “Cause my
tummy is all puffy. I want a flat
skinny tummy like Britney’s,” she replied.
Shouldn’t five and six year olds should be thinking about mud pies rather
than how much they weigh. Our kids are getting the wrong messages at
younger and younger ages.
I recently saw a
quote on a young girl’s AIM profile. “Sometimes I wish I was a little kid
again....skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts!” Our kids are growing up to be adults
whether we like it or not and its happening faster than ever before. Therefore, we need to start teaching
them how to be adults: how to make thoughtful decisions, to discern how a
certain movie, lyrics, or dating decision will affect their heart, soul &
mind and then make an informed choice whether or not to partake. We need to teach them to make wise
choices while they are growing up.
We must set rules and enforce them while they are young so that when they
are older, they know the difference between right and wrong (Proverbs
22:6). Don’t wait till
tomorrow. Tomorrow, it will be too
late. If we expect more of our
children now, if we set the bar high, they will give more now and for the rest
of their lives.
Second, don’t
let your six year old walk out the door dressed inappropriately. Throw that, “It’s cute… They’re kids...,” mentality out the
window. If you don’t do it now, you
won’t be able to do it when they are 15. They’re not just kids anymore. 9 to 12 year olds today know more about
sex than eighteen year olds did 20 years ago. Don’t believe me? Go ask your kids. They can probably tell you who at school
is doing what and with whom and I’m not talking about the adults.
Third, lead by
example. Telling our kids not to go
to PG-13 or R rated movies only holds water so long as we set the standard in
our own lives by living under the same expectations we put on them. (Don’t worry. You won’t miss much.) And discuss your family movie, music and
TV choices together while the kids are still at the pre-adolescent age so they
can learn how you decide what to
watch and listen to. Soon they will
be out of your sight and making those decisions on their own so teach them how,
and do it now.
Creed’s lead
singer Scott Stapp put it well when he was interviewed in the August 2-4 edition
of USA weekend. “(Parents) need to be
involved in their kid's life in every way—what music they listen to, what
parties they go to, who they're hanging out with. And then try to relate to them
on their level—communicate with them. That way, if 15 kids are picking on him at
school, but he knows he has a sanctuary at home, he won't want to pick up a gun
and kill them all.”
Now, as good as
it all sounds, teaching our children how to make wise decisions, intercepting
inappropriate behavior & leading by example probably won’t be enough. We all need to pray for and with our
children. We should encourage our
children to pray as well. September
18th is the 13th
annual See You at the PoleTM National Day of Student
Prayer. Encourage your children
& teenagers to stand strong in their faith around their school’s flag pole
on that morning. You never
know how a little prayer and trusting in God will change your life and that of
your children and our nation.
Drew Cope is the
Youth Director at New London Presbyterian Church. For more information about See You at the
Pole, please visit www.SYATP.com. For more information about Walt
Mueller, please visit our site at www.CPYU.org.
REFERENCES:
> Walt Mueller’s book, “Understanding
Today’s Youth Culture”, p. 185
> Actor/comedian Dana Carvey quoted from USA
Today, July 31,
2002,
10D.
> Singer Scott Stapp interviewed in the
August 2-4, 2002 edition of USA Weekend