My name is Megan Vosburgh. I am 18 years old and I am a senior at Wilmington Christian School. When I was in Middle School, I had a lot of “boyfriends”, but they were nothing serious, it was like a little kids game. You never saw each other outside of school and we just told everyone we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Into high school I’ve had a few other boyfriends, but those weren’t serious either. I have had two serious relationships with guys, one when I was in eighth and ninth and the other in ninth grade. I really wanted to have a boyfriend all the time, and it made me feel good to know I had someone that liked me. Everywhere I looked—the movies, music, TV—it told me I had to have a boyfriend to be worth something. So when I found out that these two guys liked me I readily consented to be their girlfriend. I loved having a boyfriend. He would buy me flowers and get me special things on Valentine’s Day and other days. The problem was, before I went out with them both, I didn’t even know them very well. Neither of them were Christians, although they made me believe they were at the time. They always knew how to say all the right things. Into my first relationship, I started to realize that the boy was not good at all, he did a lot of bad stuff, but I overlooked it, because he was sweet to me and I thought I could change him. He got worse as it went on and I found out that he cheated on me and that he said really bad stuff about me behind my back. When I found out, I was so devastated and depressed. I hated myself. He told me that I needed to be more physical with him and he tried to take advantage of me several times. I didn’t give in, but I was walking the line. I am so embarrassed at how I let myself be treated. When I was dating him, my parents didn’t approve of him, so we always got in fights, and I became rather rebellious. Near the end of our relationship was when I started to come to youth group for the first time and I brought him, and Mike was talking about dating. I didn’t want to hear any of it. I thought I was fine. But when my boyfriend went to the last straw and I finally dumped him and he tried to commit suicide, my eyes were opened to how much of a mess my life had become. I had wasted a year of my life on this guy. I had been a strong Christian, but little by little I had let myself compromise. But this didn’t change me. A few months later, I got involved in another very serious relationship. I thought that this guy was a big improvement. But I found the same things happening to me. I became so obsessed with him, it was ridiculous. My life revolved around him. When he dumped me for another girl, I again fell into depression. I didn’t know what to do. My life had been him for half a year. Then God finally got through to me when I was so depressed. One day God revealed that He loved me so much just as I was. He forgave me for everything and I could start anew in His grace. I was his princess and He told me that He had missed me. He had great plans for me and I just had to rest in His love. I just fell on my bedroom floor and wept and God took me back into His arms. His arms were so much better than any boys. I didn’t need a guy anymore to be happy and the only thing that mattered was my relationship with my Lord.

I quickly started to make up for all my lost time with my Redeemer. He showed me how much more time I had to spend with Him and do other things when I didn’t have a boyfriend. My relationship with my parents and friends improved. God started to use me then after I gave Him everything—every area of my life and I wasn’t going to hold back. I wanted Him to use me in whatever way He desired. He leaded me back to GZ and I took Foundations. From there I started getting more involved in youth group. At home I had intense devotional times and did so much research on dating. I didn’t want to make any of the same mistakes. I read at least four different Christian books on love, sex, and dating. From those books, I learned about Godly relationships and dating. I made a list of all the qualities I wanted in a guy and determined not to settle for less than God’s best for me. I prayed as I made this list and committed to not date a guy before he and I were really good friends first and he met all the requirements on my list. I decided that I wanted a promise ring which symbolizes the commitments I made to God after reading these books. My ring says, “True Love Waits” and I wear it on my left ring finger. I am saving it for my future husband, who I will give it to on our wedding day. It symbolizes my purity and will show him how I waited and prayed for him, the man God had picked out for me alone. Soon after I made these commitments, I felt God telling me not to date for a year—and that I had to get closer to Him before I could start a relationship with any other guy. So I focused a year on just “dating” God. It was very hard because there was a guy who really wanted to date me at that time and I wouldn’t have minded dating him, but I knew what God had told me. The guy made fun of me when I tried to explain, so then I knew he definitely was not a good guy for me. But that time I spent with God helped me grow so much in Him. This was during the period when I went on my mission trip to Romania and it was so cool because I didn’t have any boyfriend I had to worry about when I went away—it was just me and God. He really can fulfill all our needs.

Right now I am not dating because God has not brought the right guy or the right circumstances into my life yet. I pray for my future husband constantly and that God would help me to be pure for him. So until God brings that guy, I am strengthening my relationship with Him and am not going out looking for a guy, but trusting that God will bring the perfect one to me in His perfect timing.

If I did date now, I would want the relationship to be totally glorifying to God, and I do believe that a girl and a guy can date and do this. I know it will be very hard, but I would do things with my boyfriend such as read the Bible together, go to youth group, and go out in groups. I think that sometimes a girl and a guy can better glorify the Lord together than separately and can encourage one another in the faith. But I do think it would be very hard. I have set physical and emotional boundaries for myself and if I were to date I would tell my potential boyfriend up front what they were and if he does not agree then I know it would not be God’s will. I think the most important thing is to always put Christ first, and if you cannot do that while dating someone, you are not ready to be in a relationship. I am also part of an accountability group with two strong Christian girls who help to keep me accountable including areas such as guys and if I were dating, I would expect them to keep me accountable in my dating life. I think having to be accountable to someone helps a lot for relationships with the opposite sex.

Now I do not want it to appear as if it is not hard for me to not just do what it seems everyone else is doing. It is extremely hard, sometimes agonizing. Many times I feel like everyone else gets to have all the fun and I wonder if all my waiting is in vain and if God will ever actually bring me that special guy. But God never said life would be easy and that Satan wouldn’t attack us. I try to remember that God sees all my efforts and that they are not in vain. His plans are so much better for my life than any I could ever make and He wants the very best for me. So I just trust Him—that He is good and faithful and I rely on Him to give me the strength to resist.